Saturday, July 2, 2011

saboteurs!

Getting fit through diet and exercise creates big changes in your life - changes you welcome.
But for family and friends, who aren't in the same mindset, they can be jealous, and uncomfortable with your changes. They can become - your greatest obstacle.

Saboteurs!
Sometimes they mean well (or at least think they do!), they may appear a tad malicious, but often they can be oblivious and have no idea how they are sabotaging you, or that they even are...
It can seem, every time you take a step forward to gain control over what you eat, they’re offering you cake, a chocolate or want to take you out for (a fat laden) lunch! It may be as simple as them saying, *have one* it wont hurt you! They may tell you you are looking too thin! Or, a common comment - "you have worked out - you deserve it" - "you will 'work that off' in no time"!

Or every time you head out the door for a workout they encourage you to stay indoors, and .... be inactive - with them. To spend time, with them. They may say they hardly get to see you anymore because you are always exercising, perhaps they feel neglected.

And. Often, they will tell you... you have changed.

Guess what! They are right. Alongside the physical or health benefits of eating right and exercising, you become, a new you - a new, positive you, with more confidence, and you become stronger, mentally & physically. They won't like your success because they don't want change. They like the comfort zone with you. They like, the image of you they have always had ... therefore, they need to resist those changes - however they can.

So often, it's also because they feel even more guilty as THEY aren't doing things right. YOU may be a reminder to them of their own irresponsibility when it comes to their health - diet and exercise - they are usually self conscious of their own habits when you begin to have success - whether it be with weight loss or simply changing a bad habit - saboteurs dislike seeing others succeed at something.
How do you stop them? They feel uncomfortable with the new you - they don't like, change.
YOU, need to remain assertive and on track to your goals, and not allow their thoughts to determine your success. Learn to handle that sabotage.
With food? Just say no. You don't owe an explanation as to why. You KNOW the right things to consume if you want results.
Explain to them you need their support not criticisms. Remind them that you are still the same person that loves THEM no matter what your own personal goals are. Remind them you still need them in your life, but you need them to be supportive of your need to create a healthier version of you.
Look for support in the right places. Set up your own, new, support system if you need to. Surround yourself with likeminded positive and motivated people. You may need to avoid friends (at least temporarily) who are a negative influence. And don't feel guilty if you choose to avoid someone who’s not helpful to your cause.
For, above all, do NOT let them win! Continue with the positive changes YOU are making to your life. While others may tempt you, ultimately you’re in charge of your own life. Look at difficult situations as opportunities to use your confidence - and reinforce the idea that you’re not adopting a healthier lifestyle for someone else, but for you. Be proud of the commitment you are making to yourself - and continue to make mindful decisions - despite them.

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